True Success is about more than achieving your goals, climbing up the professional ladder, making more money or having a grander title. It is about enjoying the process as well as the rewards.
In my private concierge coaching practice, I work with people who are successful on paper. They include executives and celebrities, public figures who seem to have it all.
And yet, I can tell you that when these individuals don’t apply the True Success Formula, a blueprint that I created after working with clients for more than two decades. And the True Success Formula includes values-based success; it does not include fulfillment.
Values-based success refers to applying your values as you both strive toward and achieve your goals.
Going against your values may contribute to greater success on paper, but it rarely affords the true joy and gratification that comes with True Success.
“I’m a good person,” you might be thinking, “of course, I apply my values.”
I have no doubt you are a good person. And yet, good people can sometimes focus on achieving their goals over applying their values.
A great example of this concept can be found in workaholics. Workaholics work most of their waking hours. Sure, they love their family (value) and know that their health is important (value). At the same time, they put aside those values of spending time with loved ones and taking care of their bodies to achieve their goal of success.
A workaholic often holds the belief, “I am doing this for my family, so they are always taken care of; I am doing this so we will be financially set in case any health issues arise.” Really, though, they are not applying their values so much as deferring them.
One workaholic client asked me: “So, you are telling me I should be with my family all the time and go to 90-minute yoga classes every day so I can prioritize them and my health?”
Nope, that’s not what I mean.
I do mean looking at how to apply your values today in a way that works for you, while still working toward your goals. Taking an evening off to have a date with your child or spouse. Stealing away even 5 minutes to meditate. There are ways to integrate your values while still striving to achieve your goals.
Now, how does this fit into the Me Too Now What movement?
If someone has done something inappropriate to you, don’t let your worry about the consequences of your speaking up for yourself interfere with your telling someone. Being violated, emotionally and/or physically, is NOT OK. And keeping quiet about it because you are concerned how it will impact your advancement may make sense, but not speaking up can haunt you. You may advance in your career, but at what cost?
And for the perpetrators out there, values-based success is important for you, too. By violating the rights of another individual, you may get what you want on one level (power, sex). But what is the cost to you? Hopefully, you have a conscience that reminds you it is not OK. If you had a daughter who was treated in the way you have treated others, or if someone did to your mother what you have done, would you be all right with that? If not, you are violating your own values, which can negatively impact your well-being. The thrill of manipulating or controlling someone else comes at an expense to you, too.
Or course, there are some who feel justified in abusing their power, with an “I deserve it” kind of thinking. I am guessing someone like that is not actually reading this blog. But if you are, consider this: Do you want to become a socially ousted reprobate who cannot even leave their home without being accosted and belittled by the media? Or, worse, do you want to lose all the wealth and power you have accumulated because of your unethical behavior?
One way to apply values-based success is to consider this: If you were part of a reality show and cameras were following you around all the time, would you be OK with what the world would see? If not, then it is time to make some changes.
Embrace values-based success to not only help you advance toward your goals, but also to enjoy the experience.