Wife: “Honey, can we talk.”
Husband: “Really? I mean I had a really long day and just needed some time to decompress.”
Wife: “Me too… I just wanted to spend some time talking and hanging out with you”
Husband: “Gosh, I really need to do some work. I need to return about a hundred emails.”
Husband: “I mean, didn’t we talk just a few days ago?”
Wife: (quietly) “Well, yeah.”
Husband: “So do you really need to talk again, so soon?”
Wife: “It would be nice.”
Husband: “Its just that my head is killing me from my stressful day.”
Wife: “Fine, forget it!”
Husband: “Fine, we can talk. Come one, let’s go.”
Wife: “I don’t want to talk of you don’t really want to. Forget it.”
Wife: “Fine!” She storms off and sleeps in the guest bedroom.
What is your reaction to this interaction? Husband is being pretty selfish, huh?
What if tables were turned (switch husband’s dialogue with wife’s) AND exchange the word “sex” for “talk.”
Now what is your reaction?
People communicate and receive love in different ways. For some, it is more abut spending time together, talking. For others it is more focused on sharing physical intimacy.
Some people long to hear their partner say kind words to them (“you look great!”). Others hear and communicate love by doing something for them (making dinner, for example, or buying a gift).
Think for a moment about a time when you felt most loved from your partner. What was happening? What was the conversation? What were you doing?
Now consider your partner. Regardless of how close a couple is, partners often have different ways they prefer to give and receive love.
What does your spouse say or do when they want to tell you they love you? Do nice things for you? Give you something? Spend time with you? Compliment you? Physically touch you?
Talk about this with your spouse, helping each other determine how you each prefer to give and receive love. It is a very powerful tool to a happier marriage!