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I’m honored to be the featured columnist for Better Homes and Gardens Good Kid Project. It’s a year long series of articles designed to give parents a boost as they do the important work of child-rearing in the 21st century. Here’s the latest; follow the links to enjoy the entire series to date.

Cultivating a “setbacks won’t stop me” mind-set starts as early as when kids are learning to tie their shoes. As children get older, developing grit becomes more about helping them work through their challenges and reach their goals in the face of roadblocks. In my latest article for BHG.com I present a few common academic and social situations your children might find themselves in, and how to help them persevere.

Read the full article at BHG.com
The Good Kid Project – Perseverance

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“Moms neglect themselves in so many ways. Our society tells women ‘you should be able to do it all- and on your own.’ This is a completely unrealistic expectation, which sets moms up for stress, disappointment, guilt, and shame.”

Moms have to practice self-care, if even for the sake of their kids. In order to be the best mom, you need to be the best you. Not getting the sleep, nutrition, exercise, fun, or needed quiet time will make you more irritable, less energetic, more stressed, and less healthy — all of which can have a negative impact on your children. Read more of my insights and advice from this article on Procter & Gamble’s P&G Everday site.

Read more »

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Mobile technology is a society and family shifting invention. We are more connected than ever; that’s both good and bad.

Giving your child a mobile phone can provide instant connectivity to them during school days and play dates. It’s so easy to arrange pick ups, drop offs and meal choices via text messages.

However, I hear growing frustration from parents whose kids are opting to hit IGNORE when they call or take hours to respond to text messages. A new mobile app Ignore No More could be just what you need. In this Good Day Chicago segment I discuss the app and the way mobile is impacting family dynamics. Watch it. Share it, and leave a comment about ways you manage communication in your family.

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Do you want to be happy or wealthy?

Seth Streeter, President and Co-Founder of Mission Wealth, a Financial Times 300 wealth management firm, recently asked me to help him with a strategic answer to this fundamental question.

We came up with these 6 key strategies to creating true wealth — a heart and life filled with love and joy. Don’t get me wrong, I value financial independence, luxury and legacy. I am just very passionate to help people break free from the chains of obsession with money and materialism.

I counsel many wealthy people and families and give advice, on keeping perfectionism from driving your financial attitudes and behaviors, in my new book Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life you Love!

Follow the link to read Seth’s article that was posted on YPO.org

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Forbes, Forbes.com, Elizabeth Lombardo, debt, wealth, finances

I was happy to contribute to this article that was featured on Forbes.com. Hope it is helpful to you. Leave a comment about your takeaways or ways you’ve learned to conquer debt and save!
-E

Pay, Spend, Pay: How This Debt Mistake Can Set You Back

By Marisa Torrieri

This post originally appeared on LearnVest

When it comes to making debt payments, most of us probably fall into three categories: those who pay the minimum, those who try to pay a little more than the minimum—and those who are like Jason Vitug.

After Vitug graduated from college in 2003, he found himself saddled with $40,000 in combined student loan and credit card debt. That figure weighed on him so heavily that he took drastic measures to get rid of it quickly: At times that meant making double his minimum debt payments, to the tune of about $2,000 a month—on a $45,000 bank branch manager’s salary.

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Self reliance,bhg,bhg.com,Elizabeth Lombardo,kids,good dis project,parenting

Fostering independence is truly a balancing act: Children need — and want — rules to follow, but if we hover over their every move, we prevent them from developing a sense of trust in themselves, their judgment, and their ability to recover from mistakes. Teaching self-reliance involves giving kids firm guidelines, as well as the room to apply and even test them. Remember, it’s normal for kids, especially teenagers, to challenge parents’ authority: This is part of what helps them hone their decision-making skills.

Use these strategies as a starting point:

-Give kids responsibility
-Let them problem solve
-Make room for mistakes

You can read my insights and details on the strategies in the full article at BHG.com. Happy Parenting!

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Better than Perfect, perfectionism, Elizabeth Lombardo, she knows.com. BetterThanPerfect.co

“I’m a perfectionist and I’m sick of it!”

Writer Krissy Brady considers herself a recovering perfectionist. She read an advance copy of my new book Better than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love and we had a great conversation about her journey and overcoming perfectionism. Follow the link to read her full article. Here are some highlights.

Here’s the thing about perfectionism: It’s a good thing, until it’s not. I consider myself to be a “recovering perfectionist,” in that I’m starting to let go of the chokehold high standards and perpetual dissatisfaction – and in true ex-perfectionist style, I now focus on my victories instead of my (millions of) flaws. One of my biggest flaws: At 30, I still don’t have one healthy habit in place. Seriously, not one. Why? Because I’ve allowed my inner perfectionist to get in the way of my building them. Well, no more. Once I had my Scarlett O’Hara moment, I decided to enlist Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., psychologist and author of the upcoming book Better than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love, to help perfectionists like myself get it together.

Do any of these perfectionist excuses sound familiar?

I had one cookie and messed up my diet. Might as well eat the rest of the plate.
OK, so I just said this five minutes ago. (Bashfully, puts down the cookie.) Reacting this way is of course totally irrational — so why do we feel the need to binge out on the entire plate? “Perfectionism causes ‘all or nothing’ thinking: ‘I failed so my healthy diet is a failure,’” says Lombardo. “If you do eat a cookie, eat it mindfully without the guilt. Savor every bite, focus on how good it tastes, eat slowly and with gratitude instead of guilt. You’ll eat less and enjoy more.” Don’t mind if I do!

I have to get everything done before I can go to sleep.
No. You don’t. Scoring shut-eye is so much more important. “Getting to sleep at a reasonable time means you’ll be more productive and effective tomorrow,” says Lombardo. In other words, you’ll get more done in less time because your mind won’t feel the need to short circuit. Now, go to bed.

I’m too busy to hang out with my girlfriends. When I do take the time, I never feel like I’ve really earned it.
Start thinking like a professional athlete: They know the importance of working hard and resting hard. To function at your peak performance level, you have to take time out for yourself. “Connecting with friends isn’t just about fun: It reduces stress and will help you become even better at your job,” says Lombardo. If you find yourself wavering in this department, do what I do and add leisure activities to your to-do list. It’s an efficient way to trick your perfectionism into giving you a breather.

I want my clients to know I’m there for them, so I keep my phone on at night.
“Your clients, just like everyone else in your life, will treat you in exactly the same manner you teach them to,” says Lombardo. “If you answer emails at 2 a.m., they’ll expect that.” Set limits, such as an auto-responder telling your clients you’ll respond to emails sent after a certain time on the following business day. Most will respect that. Plus, by not keeping your phone on you’ll get a much better sleep, which will make you a more efficient worker bee.

I tried exercising (or eating right) in the past and it didn’t stick. I’m just destined to be like this.
It’s not failure — it’s data!
Use your past mistakes to learn your triggers and what causes you to veer off course. Then use that information to improve your future. “For example, in the past you may have had trouble working out after work because you always had to stay late,” says Lombardo. “Use this information to your advantage by taking steps to workout before work, so even if you have to stay late, you’re covered.

Read 9 Signs You’re Trying Too Hard to be Perfect. h/t SheKnows

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Hope, Depression, Suicide, dr. Elizabeth Lombardo

In the wake Robin Williams’devastating suicide, many are asking, Why? Why would someone do this? How could someone with the ability to make millions laugh not have a glimmer of hope within?

We can speculate, and we can mourn. In fact, it is important to mourn. It is also important to learn — to learn from this devastation so we can help ourselves and our loved ones.

In my latest piece for The Huffington Post I gave 5 approaches that you can implement to help keep people you know and love living and thriving:

Cultivate Hope
Address Stress Effectively
Help Out Others
Stop The Perfectionism
Prioritize Meaning Over Money

Click the link to read the full article and my expansion of the 5 tips.
Let’s Focus On Hope: Robin Williams, Depression and Suicide

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New romance is exciting and thrilling, but can also bring anxiety. Social media can delude us to thinking we “know” a person in a very short time. It takes time and purpose to lay a sound foundation for lasting love.

My good friend and relationship expert Rachel DeAlto, recent joined me on Good Day Chicago to talk about how to start off right. Here are the steps. Watch the video to hear us break them down.

1) Start With Yourself
2) Decide (ahead of time) What You Want
3) Find Someone With Similar Interest
4) Practice “Sextimacy”
5) Separate From Your Past

Happy Loving!

-E

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My new book Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love! is being printed as I write this!
(Click the link to reserve your copy!)

I wanted an awesomely fun video trailer, so I contacted my good friend (former Oprah “Super-Producer”) Candi Carter for help. Her team put together this fantastic package and I’m LOVE it! Watch it for a peek into the pages of this work that I am very proud of. As you can see, I had LOADS OF FUN!

Watch it. Share it. Buy it!

Thanks for much for joining me on this journey to be BETTER THAN PERFECT!